Van Stanley

Sentient-Centric Universe Blues

     Nevermind, I love you
     even if you’ll have us
liberalize speci-al identity — have us
usher for once, for all —
non(but not sub)humans into cosmic
rebirth — have us tune-in&drop-out to yr
psychic radio while the divine
hangs out like a panopti-ghost, like a
wash of tap water on paper
     that has, of course
     long evaporated for me, for good —
& I mean it —

stop staring at this square peg, god
dammit & help me jam it
into this round hole, will you?

     One less absence un-filled,
     one less mystery dis-solved,
     one less dominion non-physical,

     one less fear to squeal in my bones.
See, there’re too many empty spaces, so that
when I did come to believe in yr smile that’d
flown about the small breeze & when you’dn’t stop
to teach me how to revel
in the unknowing, in the arbitration —
     to teach me
     how to see past the (yes, it is!) self-trickery…

I woke today without a crack
in the morning mirror & thought
I could be beautiful, as people are
& I drove off somewhere, listening to some
genius from Michigan on the disc singing
     I’ve lost the will to fight —
                                                    & I cried

     because there is no mystic alive
     who can show me which spaces to fill in
     or explain to me the difference at all
     between the fear of life & the fear of nothing.

(Source: vanstanley)